don't talk to strangers

i attended my cousin's sweet 16 party this past friday. she looked so pretty, like a little princess in her mint green gown. and wearing makeup for the first time (i think) in her life. she said her mom did her makeup for her. it was fun, but family parties lately just make me realize how much older i'm getting. and that now i'm part of the adult crowd instead of the kid/teen crowd. all my young cousins are about 19 and over now, and some even have children of their own. when i see my young cousins walking around with their girlfriends and i can't help but remember them as toddlers, i sure do feel the effects of a lot of time passing! it's a pretty scary thing.

i woke up very early this morning and got to work about 8:10am. just taking one day off i realize that i really miss work, and need something to do to keep my mind occupied. i was actually looking forward to coming in today and catching up with everything i missed by taking last friday off for the party. i could usually deal with work most days, i'm good at it and my boss likes me. i just wish i could do it without the office politics, gossip, and other bs that occurs so often. it can sometimes feel like i'm working with a bunch of teenagers, instead of adult women in their 20s and 30s.

sometimes i wonder if i'm even capable of real friendship. too many things about people get on my nerves and i just feel better and more comfortable by myself. maybe that is unhealthy and i need to learn to be more accepting. it just boggles the mind why i would want to be friends with people, or should try to be friends with people who i have nothing in common with. it's funny that recently my mom told me to see if i could meet more people by going online, when just a few years ago, she practically forbid me from doing just that. i guess she wants me to lessen my fear and mistrust of strangers. good luck with that! its already so deeply ingrained in me since as far back as i can remember.