commerical girl that looks like me!

so the other day my sister sent me a screenshot from her tv of a girl who looks like me. i found the commercial she was referring to on youtube, here it is! (it's the girl with the accent obviously)

the screenshot she sent me was at the 0:13 mark when the girl is looking down. she really does resemble me in a sort of scary way! except for her narrower nose.

great blog post:
http://zenhabits.net/free/

song of the day:

here's a pic from a test shoot i did with a photographer a while back..

it's new year's eve eve

i'm pretty happy right now because a test photo shoot i was supposed to have yesterday has been rescheduled for this Friday. i think it's something i am really needing right now. to feel pretty again and see myself in a different light. it's a nice break from the routine of day to day life. and the last time i did a shoot with this particular photographer, (who found me by approaching me at one of my boyfriend's art shows) the results were pretty good, even though i was heavier then. i think my being thinner now may help me to feel more confident and result in even better shots. not sure where all this may lead, if anywhere, but then again you never know. it's a good thing i'm off work this week, so i had some time today to go through magazines and study the model's poses to get ideas, also i need to look through my clothes to decide on the looks i want to have in the shoot. the pic at the top of my blog was a result of the last test shoot we did together.

tomorrow is my family's new year's eve party, and i hear that an old friend of mine is supposed to attend since our dads work together. I can't imagine how much we both must have changed since last seeing each other. she will be turning 30 in march. we were very close for a large part of our young adulthood. we grew apart when i moved out of my parent's home and also out of the town where she was living. though i heard she has finally also moved out of her parent's home as well , and is apparently working and living with someone, a guy i don't know. i suppose i'll meet him tomorrow night. it's going to be so great to see her again and catch up on everything we have missed in eachother's lives. i have really missed her a lot since she is one of the funniest people i know. i met her while working at a photo developing place when i was 19 and in college.

this has been a very nice vacation so far. tomorrow is my massage and i hope there isn't too much snow in the forecast so i don't have to trudge through it to get to the salon. i posted some of my poetry today on redbubble.com and have already received some really great comments it, so that feels great!

what would janice do?

i love janice dickenson. since i don't have work tomorrow, i'm up at 3:24am watching her sell her jewelry on HSN (home shopping network). all the cocktail rings are lovely, but of course at size 5, too big for my fingers. oh well. not like i should be spending money anyway. i adore janice's personality. she's loud and obnoxious, but in a way that is fully, unapologetically her. she is not afraid to be who she is. to be loud or overbearing, to be fun and stlyish, sexy and fabulous no matter how old she gets. she has admirable ambition and drive. and has made herself into a success in the modelling world on her own terms.

i've read 2 of her books- her autobiography 'no lifeguard on duty' which i lent to my mom and she loved it too and 'everything about me is fake and i'm perfect.' her writing style is fresh and she has a natural way of telling a story that draws you in, as if you were in conversation with her. she is the epitomy of strong. i wish i could be that way. i mean so socially strong that i intimidate others with my confidence and sense of self. that others are at a loss for words when around me because i make such a secure impression on them. to be like her, not like myself- shy, always retreating, second guessing. that is my ultimate dream. to be unafraid to speak my mind. to be who i want to be and see myself to be.

i was addicted to her show back when it was on oxygen, 'the janice dickenson modelling agency.' i had rented the first season from netflix and became addicted. mostly because janice took every opportunity to showcase her best self. her talents for photography, modelling and being a model agent and mentor. it was really hypnotic in a way. there is no one else like her on earth. she is what i strive to be in my life. there was a scene on her show where she encourages one of the models in her agency by telling him that growing up, "I believed you could be, just anyone you really wanted to be." and that just sums it all up , doesn't it? she said it with a conviction that would remove any doubt. she was dead serious.

she came from humble beginnings, came from an abusive household, and still had the determination and strength to go after her dream of being a model in a time where models looked nothing like her. they were all blonde and blue-eyed. she paved her own path and became an in demand model anyway when most agencies turned her away at first. she didn't let anything defeat her. she later decided she wanted to have a modelling agency of her own, and film the whole process for a reality show, and so it was done. just like that. she decided to write books, so she became a best selling author. and it's easy to see why. she is a distinct personality. an amazing woman who has accomplished so much. people may ridicule her but she lives her life in her own way and makes no apologies ever.

she knows exactly who she is and is unafraid to show it. and that is so stunning to me. she is definitely someone i admire and look up to and who makes me happy whenever i see her on tv or read fashion/beauty tips in her books. she makes it all look so easy and so fun because she really lives her life and makes the most of it, and encourages others to do the same in her books. so now i guess she has a jewelry line, i had no idea about it. the bracelets and rings and necklaces are so pretty too. i guess there really is no limit to what a person can do or what she can get if she really really wants it..

'do your thing, whatever it is that you do
everybody's magical, beautiful, do your own thing
shining like a super star, what you feel is who you are
do your own thing'

- from the theme song of her TV show