no one really cares where you go

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
~Confucius

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
~Albert Einstein

7 things i'm grateful for
1. having enough money for survival and for a few extra pleasures
2. having a close family
3. poetry (to read and to listen to)
4. that spring is coming soon (i hope!)
5. a meditation group that meets on monday nights in hoboken that i can go to when the weather improves. I have to start dedicating myself to meditation again.
6. days when my boss is not in the office
7. living in a more spacious, quieter apartment
8 (bonus) hot water and more than enough food

This past weekend I was helping my boyfriend move to a new place on Sunday and thinking about change and how constant it is, how important adapting is. but there is also a freedom in that. I’ve learned that only recently. it’s ok to risk things, risk living in a new place, risk taking a new job, etc. there is no reason to think things are set in stone. you can make another choice and improve the situation you are in. we are lucky enough to have choices, and that should be recognized. I can move if I want go, travel, go to someplace new, volunteer, try new things to eat, meet new people, wander and explore. It’s really an extraordinary thing and an idea that I think I’m still getting used to, even though I’ve been on my own for so long and not living with my parents.

It’s a strange feeling, almost scary, like people who think driving is scary because of the absolute freedom and control that it gives you. I still have to remind myself sometimes, I have to give myself permission to be myself, to do the things I want to do without worrying about someone standing over my shoulder telling me not to do this or that. it’s a weird feeling, to be out in the world without direction (except from your own mind/heart/intuition), with the responsibility to bring structure and meaning to your life being completely your own. I think we assume other people are way more concerned with our actions and life then they actually are.

people get over the shock of things, they adjust, they have no choice. if I were to change the course of my life, no one else would ultimately be helped or hurt but me. it’s not like anyone else knows my heart and what I truly want out of my days. They would just have to accept whatever I choose to do. It’s not like anyone is out there holding me back, except maybe myself and my own fears of failure. It is a daily struggle but I strive to remain positive. I strive to keep developing until I ultimately come to know who I am, and feel comfortable being who I am.

title of this post came from the blondie song 'detroit 442'-



and another cool tune, for the bohemian in us all: