i give up all of my plans

i love the sound of the verses of this song. i just love the way he sings them.



a list of wants (to put me in alignment with who i want to be)

1. i want to be someone who exercises regularly
2. i want to be someone more spontaneous, taking more chances
3. i want to be someone who plans for the future more
(ha, the irony! though i did make a pretty solid decision about my future today- finally!)
4. i want to be someone who knows what my priorities are
5. i want to be someone living by my own rules
6. i want to be someone confident, strong, and social
7. i want to be someone fun and creative
8. i want to be someone with peace of mind
9. i want to be someone with clear cut goals
10. i want to be a strong person, mentally and physically

today i read an article in self magazine about a woman who just before her 40th birthday, lost her job and her boyfriend all in the one weekend. she was blindsided and her life basically turned upside down. but she was able to look back on it as the best thing that could've happened to her. because she later met the man she would marry, and also learned to go after her dream of being a freelance writer.

before, she was always afraid to go after this dream and do without the steady paycheck and health benefits of working for a company, but getting laid off from her magazine job left her wide open to take a chance and a risk, without any more excuses.

i remember being in school and thinking that freelance writing would be an ideal way to earn a living. it interested me more than any other job i heard about. but i also like the security of a regular paycheck, like most people. and thought this job too risky to do full time unless you happen to have won the lottery or are otherwise financially secure already. but in a way, taking that attitude is like short changing yourself and your own abilities. and settling for a job or career that you don't really want and that isn't making you happy.

i'm sure that it can be done. otherwise, it wouldn't be an established profession. it probably takes a while for a freelance writer to build a reputation and gain clips but with perseverance and patience it can definitely be done. her story was inspiring. i can't imagine losing it all at an age when you're supposed to have it all together, but sometimes it takes something that drastic to awaken a hidden side of you. to finally express yourself in a new way.

sometimes it's scary to think, who am i going to be at 40? at 45? later than that? but the reality is that we are all going to grow older, and doing something today to prepare for that is extremely important. the point is to be happy with yourself once you reach any age, and not think of it as an end to your dreams or path or destiny. though i'm still only 31 and turning 32 this summer, it's time to think ahead to the future, because it's coming on whether i want it to or not.