getting to breathe easier

this week i finally went to see a doctor because i couldn't stand not being able to sleep at night due to my allergies and all the congestion they caused me. he asked me tons of questions very rapidly and i had to fill out all this paperwork because it was a new doctor that i had never been to before and he had no file on me. all this was very trying on my patience. he told me that my throat was all red and that i had a lot of congestion which i already knew, and ordered me to get an ekg because he thought my resting heart rate was a little faster than it should be. i wanted to say that it was because i have a boss from hell who's very presence in my life keeps me on edge all the time, but i kept that to myself.

getting the ekg was a pain too because i had to remove all of my jewelry, and i wear a lot of jewelry, and it is all very special and meaningful to me and i get anxious when i have to remove it anywhere else besides in my home. especially the coral flower ring my mother gave me, which i actually never take off. i kept fearing that i would get up to put it back on and it would be gone.

after the doctor i went to fill my prescriptions, the girl there told me to come back in half an hour so i did, and they still weren't ready. it was her and two guys at the pharmacy and they were working so  slowly. here i am hardly able to breathe and sneezing 10 times in a row whenever i step outside, and waiting around for this medication to finally get some relief while they took their sweet time. i was just about ready to scream at them. my medication was very expensive but it was worth it. i feel much better and was actually able to fall asleep last night without feeling congested at all or waking up with the roof of my mouth burning and irritated. and that was such a blessing.

so i took advantage and went to bed early and slept a lot. i attempted today to organize my handbags and try to declutter some clothes i'm tired of but i just couldn't do it. for some reason, it's hard for me to get rid of something that i received a compliment on while wearing it even though i might have gotten sick of the item already. and it's hard for me to get rid of perfectly good work clothes or something just because i'm tired of wearing the same things over and over.

it seems wasteful to me, even though there are some clothing items that i have kept for so many years. it's hard for me to get rid of things when i know that they look good on me, because it can be hard to find flattering clothes a lot of the time. or clothing in a style that is not trendy right now. i've kept a lot of my old clothes because i just couldn't get into the whole 80s trend that's been happening in the last few years. thankfully the 70s styles are getting back into fashion now.

my handbags are somewhat more organized now, i tried to line them up on the top of my closet so that i could see them all, instead of hanging them on hooks behind my other clothes where they are less visible. i had to rearrange some clothing i had up there that doesn't fit in my dresser drawers, and a warm blanket that i use under my comforter sometimes, but i made it work eventually. i wish i had more closet space, but it looks like i'm just going to have to get rid of all the excess clothing that i don't really need.

so it was nice to relax today, have  nice cup of tea and have nowhere in particular to go except maybe to the grocery store to get some cereal and fruit. my apartment felt kind of chilly but i love being home and wearing a cozy sweater and reading a good book or watching a good documentary. that is the best. i think i will definitely always be a homebody. i love being comfortable and surrounded by the things i love and that feel like me, especially when i spend my week at a job that has nothing to do with my personality, my passions or who i really am. i must work on that.