so so weekend

my memorial day  was spent doing lots of reading and some napping. i got 18 'life and style' magazines free from some girl in soho who was giving them away last week while she moved, so i'm getting a little sick of reading about celebrity style right about now. i attempted to continue reading 'your erroneous zones' by wayne dyer. i'm almost done with it but it's not helping me disassociate myself from my thoughts about my boss and job. they are still managing to depress me. my job isn't so bad actually, just the boss. i just got home from a walk in the park but the humidity out there made me sweat buckets so i came home earlier than i wanted to, and according to my pedometer, only burned 170 calories.

i woke up today not feeling too great. my boyfriend got sick after our dinner saturday night so that put a damper on our evening. i also woke up on sunday with a splitting headache. i went to radio shack to buy this cable for my HDTV which it turns out i couldn't connect anyway because there was no connection for it on my cable box.

 i tried writing last night, but all i could manage to write was a prayer to help me manage my job stress or find a new job, it's at the forefront of my mind and now it's obvious to me that it's blocking my creativity. isn't it a bummer when someone takes a bad picture of you and then you are forced to see it? my uncle has a website with all his photos from our family get-togethers and managed to tag me in one of them where i am posing with him and my sister and i swear i look about 400 pounds heavier in that picture, even though i am wearing a black dress, and even though i thought i looked really good that night. ugh. i need to get back to exercising regularly. maybe i'm just not photogenic. i don't know. because i'm really not much heavier lately or anything. it's just a really bad picture.

it's been really hard for me to enjoy myself today because it's not like i don't have a job to go to tomorrow with a boss who doesn't think twice about talking down to me or disrespecting me. whenever that has happened in the past, i've left the job. but that's because i was living at home. i've tried so many way to deal with her, but i am out of ideas. i just have no respect for her because of the way she treats me, and it makes it very difficult for me to do my work.

i will keep applying to other jobs and hoping for the best. but the longer i go without getting called for anything, or interviewing and then not getting the job, the more i fear i will be stuck at my job forever with the one person in my life who makes it a living hell to earn my living.