sleep deprived

yesterday was my dad's 62nd birthday, so i went to my parent's house to go see him and give him a card and some money. he said he came to this county when he was 26, and now it's 36 years later, and the 6 is in front of the 2. though he was joking around that he's only turning 48. i was going to post a picture of myself with him that was taken recently, but i look horrible in it, so never mind. i don't understand why the camera adds about 20 pounds on me.

i got home pretty late and didn't get much sleep so my brain is only half working today. i feel drowsy and tired and annoyed. but i usually feel that way on tuesdays, since it's my long day because of my class. i got home late last night because my sister was coming over too with my nephew and asked me to wait for her so she could see me and i could see my nephew. she brought my dad some dunkin dohnuts and put a candle on one chocolate one and sang him happy birthday. it was pretty funny.

i got home at 10pm, washed dishes and took a shower and by the time i was in bed it was about 12am. and then at that time of course i got the urge to write, just because so much was swirling in my head. i thought it would help me fall asleep if i wrote everything down that was i was thinking about. but it didn't really help and i had trouble falling asleep anyway. i feel like i'm so different from my family. like i don't always fit in with them and am like the black sheep or something. it's not because of anything they do. it's just the way that i am. it's like being on the outside looking in, and not really being sure why.