dead of dreary winter days

it's days like these that i'm grateful for a warm apartment to sleep in. i see homeless people everyday just sitting on the streets with signs asking for money to buy groceries for their families or other help that i can't read because i'm swept along with the rush hour crowds. as i was walking home yesterday, freezing, i thought about this, and thought how grateful i am to be a few steps away from a warm apartment and a warm bath and bed. even though i have to put up with my boss's crap, at least it affords me my own place. and i'm so fortunate that my parents put me through college so i could easily get a job like mine.

my boss was pretty lenient with me on tuesday. i think because i came in looking dead tired after monday, even though i fell asleep at around 8:30pm that night. plus i noticed that her former assistant stepped out of my boss's office just as i was coming in on tuesday. maybe she told her about the crazy emails i've been sending. emails like 'how did you not go crazy doing this job?!' which she never answered. and emails saying how i don't know how she was able to train me on everything i do in just 2 weeks, and that sometimes i don't even feel like coming in.

but then i think, in the economy we're in, how difficult would it be for me to find another job if i were to quit? so i decide instead to look for the positives and stay put. it's not so bad on the days when my boss isn't here. it bugs me when people who have tons of vacation time don't take any of it and then they are all stressed out and frazzled all the time. the mind and body need periods of rest. some people just love their workaholism i guess.

it's brutally cold outside today. wind chills make it feel like 0 degrees. i can't stand the cold. so for now i will just gaze at the painting on my wall that my boyfriend made me for Christmas, called 'Wishing for Summer's Return', and dream my wintertime blues away...