share your feelings

11. share your feelings

sharing feelings can be hard to do. i tend to share mine here on this blog, or in my personal paper journals. not having many close friends i can confide in, and lots of people in my life who would rather talk about themselves and cut me off, i often end up sharing my feelings with my boyfriend, which makes me wonder sometimes how he can still stand to be with me! I generally have trouble opening up to other people though, and deepening friendships that are basically co-workers and acquaintances.

it's important to share feelings though because they can take you over if you don't. holding feelings inside is dangerous and unhealthy for your mind and body and spirit. the last thing you want to have happen is for stress to take over. my mom always told me that when i find myself in a situation where i feeling like crying, then i should cry, and if i find myself in a situation where i feel like screaming, i should scream. it's natural, human and healthy. it's not something of course that comes up often, but when it does, i don't see anything wrong with expressing your emotions, and unburdening yourself.

everyone needs some sort of outlet. feelings of stress or pressure can be alleviated by exercise for some, or calling a friend or a parent, or doing some art work, writing, playing music, scrap booking or other creative task. people write comments here saying that they relate to what i say which is so great, it that makes me think that my feelings are justified and there's nothing wrong with them. we all experience life our own way, and what we feel as we live is telling of who we are and what our story is. it's much better to share your feelings, rather than pretend they don't exist and live in denial. being truthful with yourself and other people is a great relief when you remember to do it. i often ask myself how do i really feel? instead of wondering how things should make me feel. If you open up and share your feelings, you might find that you are not alone in the way that you feel. And that can be amazing.

10. organize your space

10. organize your space

this is easier said then done sometimes, especially when you're tired. but for me personally, it lowers my energy every time i encounter a mess, and sometimes its worth it to spend that extra time washing dishes and picking up, because things tend to accumulate if you don't do that. i hate looking at a pile of junk mail, or not knowing where a particular item of clothing is in my closet. i like organization. at home and at work, though at work it can be a little more difficult to keep track of all the files that need saving and reference.

seeing an organized space contributes to your peace of mind. i remember when i went to see the apartment that i eventually moved into and none of my things were in there yet, and i was just looking at an empty fresh space. what a nice calming thing that was to see. no clutter, no mess, no papers, no junk, no dust, nothing. i often think back to that feeling when i try to convince myself to clear out some clutter. it drives me a little crazy when things are out of place.

this reminds me of that show on A&E called ‘hoarders,’ talk about scary! those people deal with a mental illness and a compulsive need to keep things and it gets really out of control. i can't understand how people can live that way without losing their minds. sometimes it takes the cleaning crews days to clear out one of their houses and they need to use shovels and face masks. it's fascinating in a way, to see what people decide to keep, what they see as having value and are unwilling to part with.

i've always wanted my life and my space to be as simple as possible, and i keep trying for that all the time. i know i probably have too much stuff, and too many clothes i don't really use much, but it's really hard to let go of things that you have paid for. on the other hand, i do get the most use out of the things i love, and some of my clothing and purses and shoes i've had for several years. i'd rather hold on to something i really like then to go out shopping a lot for clothes. it's hard because it's affordable, and attractive, and fun to shop for, but then i find myself running out of hangers to hang my clothes and realize that i need to clear some of it out.

use affirmations

9. use affirmations

affirmations are something that i could never really get into, but i suppose they do work for some people. you have to have discipline to remember to tell them to yourself. i saw a show last night on TV about people who have won lotteries and how it changed their lives. there was one guy who was reading a book about positive thinking, when he noticed an ad in the paper for a raffle. the raffle was $150 to enter to win a choice of one of two houses, or $1 million in cash. and he ended up winning and choosing the money.

there was another man on the same show who had an affirmation written on his bathroom mirrors. it said something to the effect of 'you are looking at the source of all your happiness.' i found that to be really interesting and really profound. i think affirmations work a lot like gratitude, in that you choose to focus on the positive, instead of lamenting over the negative state of things in your life. you change your focus and expect the good things. and being thankful for the good things is always attracting more of those good things into your life.

when i say my prayers, i usually thank God for all of my blessings, because i know i am fortunate and i don't take things for granted. it's not good to pray just to ask god for help, you need to thank him as well for all he has done for you. i am healthy and have a good job, a wonderful family, a lovely and loving boyfriend, i'm making more friends every day and getting more confident, i know where my next meal is coming from, i have a roof over my head and a warm place to sleep, i am able to support myself, all these things are blessings and there are so many more. i expect to always be taken care of by God, i expect good things and happy experiences and positive people, so that has to be my experience. i will not settle for less.

celebrating my sweetie's birthday

here are some pics of our celebration last night with him, me and my parents,

(i'm wearing my new fireball necklace from molly sims for HSN. god i love that thing!! and my bf too of course ;)

let go and let God

8. let go and let God

this advice is very sound and can be very comforting. especially for people like me who always want control over every situation, and who get disappointed when things don't turn out the way they were expecting. not everything can go as planned all the time, and we only stress ourselves out by trying to fight against the flow of life. sometimes, there's just nothing else you can do, but wait something out and leave the outcome in God's hands. let go of control and just surrender.

there are times when letting go and letting God seem impossible, but we need to have trust and faith that things are for the best, and the lessons we learn as humans will only make us better in the end. i used to think things like: when will i find love? when will i be happy? when will i know my purpose? When will I feel like part of a group of friends? but it's pointless to try to predict the future. we can only live now and what's important is accepting who we are and how life is. this leads to peace of mind, it ends fruitless resistance. it's ok to be gentle with ourselves, admit we have faults and have made mistakes, and simply try to improve.

nothing can ever be perfect, or exactly as we want it, because we are human, not angels. and this is earth, not heaven. there will be struggles and hardships but there will also be blessings and happiness too. and little things to take pleasure in. and little moments that remind you of why you are alive, and those are the ones that matter most.

7. see a comedy

7. see a comedy

as far as a stress relief, laughter really helps. this reminds me of a father's day barbecue i went to once at my aunt's house a few summers ago. we didn't watch a comedy together, but for some reason all my cousins were in a silly mood and we spent the whole afternoon laughing and joking together about everything. it was nonstop. and at the end of the day, i literally felt like a great weight had been lifted off of me, and i remember saying, wow, i needed that! i had absolutely no tension left in my body whatsoever.

seeing a comedy, if its a good one, can probably have the same effect. you let go of worries, stop taking things so seriously, and revel in the silly side of life. my favorite comedies are the ones with jim carrey (ace ventura). the hot shots spoof movies were funny too. chris rock's HBO special show called 'bigger and blacker' was hilarious. there are not too many funny comics out there, but maybe i'm just not in the habit of watching much comedy. i was told that i had to see 'the hangover' and some other movies like napoleon dynamite that i just never got around to seeing.

of course nothing beats the 'don't fear the reaper' sketch with will farrell, the belly shirt, the cowbell, and christopher walkin on SNL.

leave five minutes earlier

6. leave five minutes earlier

this tip really helps a lot. i know that when i give myself more time in the morning, i'm much less frazzled starting and throughout my day. it may seem like common sense, but it makes a big difference. i usually wake up early enough so that i can have some breakfast before leaving for work. i don't know how people can skip breakfast. usually, the idea and anticipation of eating is what gets me up and out of bed.

it's hard to get up early. really hard on some days, especially winter days, but i try to do as much as possible to prepare for the next day on the night before. i pick out what i'm wearing, iron it and make my lunch for the next day, and it saves me a lot of time. it's also best to have a few free minutes before work starts to go get a coffee or something like that, which i usually do. i hate having to rush. and for me it's particularly an issue because i have to punch in for work. meaning, i have to click into a program that records the time i arrive and leave everyday. its annoying. but that's how things are.

i wish i could meditate in the morning, but that's one thing that i'm way too sleepy for at that time. i could only meditate at night. and i would need to get up very early to get it done in the morning, before my upstairs neighbors get up and start walking around. and i'm just not able to get up that early most of the time. i always wished the work day was from 10am to 4pm or something more tolerable like that. i don't feel fully awake until around 11am anyway. then i'm glad i'm not home lounging and that i have a job to go to.

get a massage

5. get a massage

this is one of my all time favorite things to do! but i don't do it as often as i should. usually if they are done right, you leave feeling like a brand new, rejuvenated person. i remember once going to a salon to get a haircut and there was a new shampoo girl. she washed my hair and gave me this amazing, slow, and luxurious cranial massage that left me so relaxed, it was the best! i never saw her at that salon after that so oh well, i need to find out where else they provide that kind of service.

i've been curious to try out acupuncture, supposedly it doesn't hurt that much and really does wonders for anxiety and stress levels in the body. it works with the 'chi' energy in the body and ensures that it is flowing properly and well. the same idea goes into tai chi, which is kind of like a moving meditation, where you stretch and move the body to help the chi energy circulate, or something to that effect. i'm probably not describing it well, but maybe you have heard of it and know what i mean.

massages are weird because it's hard to get perfectly comfortable. usually i find that the room is too cold, or the lotion used is too cold, or something else is slightly off that makes it hard to relax, but in the right setting, it can be a godsend. we live so often in our minds that it's nice to be reminded of our physical bodies, and be brought back down to earth for a while. i think most people need that. i've been trying to get myself a massage every month, but i hardly ever do it and i definitely should.

review your purpose

4.review your purpose

this tip is pretty vague. and seems like it might result in more stress, not less! reviewing your purpose is what most people spend their time not doing, and distracting themselves from doing. but it's worth taking some reflection and time. they say when people are nearing their 30th birthday, the return of the planet saturn happens in their birth sign and causes them to re-evaluate life. and most people make a big change during this stage. but i try not to stress myself too much over this grand life purpose, and try to enjoy the present moment as much as possible. stressing and worrying over the future won't help matters. and it stops you from enjoying life right now.

i have a tendency to want control over everything, even the future which is pretty impossible. i could worry over all the things that could go wrong, or i could focus on those things that are currently going right for me. maybe reviewing your purpose is a bit like prioritizing, and reviewing your life goals and how and if you are really working towards them.

step-back and observe

3. step-back and observe

i like this tip a lot. it's easy to get caught up in your own mind, and not bother or take the time to be still and observe the outside world. doing something as simple as looking at the sky every now and then is enough to calm you down at times, or at least put things in perspective, and make you realize that your problems are so small and insignificant in comparison to the universe as a whole. and no matter what we think is important in our lives, it pales in comparison and the world will just keep going regardless. so we can either choose to go with the flow and greatly increase our ease in this journey through life, or choose to fight against it every step of the way. i've always wanted to be able to go someplace, like a coffee shop or something, and simply observe people on the street. i've always felt too self conscious to do so though, thinking that everyone would know what i was doing and would be observing me instead. it's a weird thing. in cities like new york especially, people are for the most part in their own little worlds and oblivious to whatever or whoever is around them. so people watching should be a simple thing to do.

i remember going to the siren festival at coney island with an old friend once. we sat at a table after having some food and started people watching. she would talk about people's clothes, or tattoos or something. and she made the comment that she could be there doing that all day. she asked me if i was bored after a while. it was weird because i wasn't used to watching people that way and it was actually interesting. i realized how seldom i stop to observe people around me, i think i'm more of an eavesdropper. i love to listen to other people's conversations, whether they realize i'm there or not. i think its interesting to hear the way that people communicate with each other. i guess it has to do with being more interested in people's thoughts and ideas than in the way that they behave. stepping back to observe is something that writer's and artists can't help but do. they experience the world in a way that is different from most people and it's just in their nature.

it's unavoidable. they experience things a second and a third time when they start a new painting, or poem, or story. they pay extra attention and feel things more deeply and are more affected by everything. maybe that's why things like a simple work day and work people tend to overwhelm me, when other people simply know how to manage it without letting it get to them. that's a difficult thing to do if you're hard wired to feel and experience life so deeply, without any control over it. stepping back to observe takes you temporarily outside of yourself and your mind and your problems, and that can be a great relief. like when you step back and observe your thoughts during meditation. it's a break for your mind and a rest. being still forces you to take note of what your thoughts are actually doing. it takes you back clearly into the present moment, instead of lost somewhere in your mind with your constantly whirling thoughts. that reminds me, i really need to meditate at least once during this long weekend...

second stress relief tip

2. Take stretch breaks

this one i have to admit, i don't do. i sit for hours in front of the computer screen at work and forget to give my body any attention or breaks. and it often results in me getting cramped up and tense in my neck and shoulders. and before i even realize it, my shoulders are wound up near my ears and i've been sitting that way for a long while without even paying it any mind. i see people sometimes in the hallways stretching their arms and legs and i think they are smart to remember. i sometimes just can't tear myself away, wanting to complete my work perfectly and quickly before even thinking about attending to my own needs. that is especially bad on the days when i'm running late and don't have time to stop for coffee and end up working all morning while fighting my sleepiness at the same time, not making me very productive at all. i get my work done, but the process is just more unpleasant for me than it needs to be.

when i was being trained for my job, i was told to go outside for air if i started to feel myself getting overwhelmed or stressed. i could never manage to train myself to do this. when i'm caught up in stress, all i can think about is getting the work completed and off my mind. i can't go out for a break because i feel that i'm somehow slacking and leaving the work behind which will only be waiting for me when i get back to my desk, not to mention piling up even more.

something is seriously wrong when you find yourself putting work before your own comfort or sanity or humanity. there's no work that's worth sacrificing your health. i don't know why i push myself so hard, when people around me tend to slack and take things easy and never stress much over anything. i need to learn a lesson from them. and since i am this way, it takes me that much longer to relax and unwind and forget my stresses once i leave home. so i've tried to do that at times by listening to relaxing, soft music, such as this which is a recent favorite track of mine:

stress relief (and blondie)

i found a list of 126 stress busters someplace online (i lost the link)- and i thought i would take one at a time and post my thoughts about it. they are simply the first things that came to mind. i hope i get to write my thoughts about each item on the list!

stress busters

PART 1

.1 Change your priorities

before changing your priorities, it's important to figure out what they are first. i think mine are screwed up most of the time. i tend to prioritize work over my health, which is completely insane. i think it's important to be healthy, but just thinking it isn't going to make it happen. i know i need to make the effort to exercise, meditate and eat right to be physically and mentally healthy. it's so easy to let those things go though, but then it goes back to priorities. if you don't prioritize work so highly, and break your back trying to do a top notch job and please your boss, you probably won't be as tired in the evening. and you may have the extra energy to call your mom and see how she is, or call your sister and speak to your nephew for a little bit, instead of just falling asleep early and missing out on your life.

pretty profound when you think about it. and thinking about it is the most important point of this stress buster #1. at least to me. it's not very often that i consider my priorities and really give them the importance they deserve in my life, and i know that has to change.

below is my favorite song of the moment, i can't seem to embed the official video from anywhere which pisses me off, so this video will have to do:

random thoughts and christmas shopping

lately i've been writing more with pen and paper then here on the blog. i guess i've just had mostly more private things i wanted to write about, or maybe i was so used to my bf being without the internet so long that i didn't bother to write because i wasn't sure if anyone else was reading!

anyway, writing by hand is fun, more so than just typing. though i guess typing is easier for those times when you want to rant about something. and its easier to keep up with the pace of your thoughts if you type faster than you write.

i'm almost done with my proofreading class, just one more session to go, so that's a relief! now i can have my tuesday nights free again. i recently saw the movie 'orphan' which was really good. not the typical scary kid movie where they end up being a ghost or possessed or something, which is what i was expecting. this ending is definitely a twist and knowing it now i kind of want to go back and watch the movie over again. there wasn't too much gore either, which is always more tolerable.

i can't wait for the few days off next week with the holiday. i feel like i'm long overdo for a rest. and i've already started some christmas shopping. i'm trying to figure out what to buy for my aunts that they will actually like and use and not just something that will clutter up their lives. i have 4 aunts. its so hard these days to shop. everyone already has everything. everyone has too much of everything actually. i've already bought them handbags, perfumes, body washes, candles, shirts, soaps, scarves. what else is there??

and then there is the cris cringle between my cousins that we do on every thanksgiving, but we are smart about it and put down 3 suggestions for gifts that we would like when we write our names down to pick out of a hat.

i think i want to buy myself a new digital camera for christmas. the one i have is old and bulky and annoying, and the batteries never last. it's a kodak camera that i bought like 3 years ago. i want one of those new slimmer cameras that are not even that expensive anymore. i never know what to ask for for christmas. i usually ask for a magazine subscription from my cousins, but they never end up getting me that! i guess the gift card is always the easier and simpler way to go.

7 things i'm grateful for

1. hot showers
2. netflix (especially in winter)
3. tomorrow it'll be one day until friday
4. a warm bed to sleep in
5. new books
6. have only 3 sessions left for my course
7. shows like 'bank of mom and dad' and 'clean house' (though 'clean sweep' on was a show with much less annoying hosts)
8. (bonus) blogs like 'zen habits'

i've been reading a lot lately, some interesting books like 'going green;true tales from gleaners, scavengers, and dumpster divers.' i'm fascinated by the idea that people can find things in the trash and sell them for a profit. and the essays in the book are insightful in their thoughts about american consumerism and waste, and taking things for granted instead of trying to reuse and appreciate what we have and help the environment at the same time. i've also been reading 'the queen of clean conquers clutter'. when i look at my reading habits and the shows i like watching, it seems i should pursue a career in organization of people's homes, managing their finances, or working for a goodwill shop.

i remember reading once about a guy who worked in a used book store and found all kinds of interesting things in the books that people brought in to sell, like photographs, letters, drawings, notes, bookmarks of all kinds, etc. some things were really mysterious. i think that was part of the book 'found' which shows random things that people have found everywhere and every place imaginable. i gave away that book in a hoboken freecycle exchange and kind of regret it now.

i can't wait for my parents to have their big moving out sale, just to see how much money they end up making just from things and samples of stuff discarded and left for the trash where my mom works. she brings me all kinds of pajamas and clothes and socks all the time, and has furnished a whole room for my nephew in her house, just with those cast offs. it's pretty crazy.

i can totally understand how some people develop shopping addictions. i was having a shitty day and just buying a new purse was able to make me happy and turn my mood right around. i can see how that could easily get out of hand, so i remain vigilant and responsible in my spending. it must come from the constant fear of worrying that i may lose my job, and will need to have enough money saved up to carry me through until finding a new one. i also make sure to continually weed out my wardrobe and things to let go of what can be donated to charity.

the next book i ordered from amazon is 'Mongo: Adventures in Trash' by Ted Botha. mongo is supposed to be slang for anything reusable that was thrown out in NYC and recovered by someone else. i can't wait for it to come in the mail!

a strangely facinating film

http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/i_love_trash/

a little positivity

found this exercise online here- http://www.personal-development-coach.net/raise-vibration.html

Write down 10 aspects of you that you love and re-read them as often as you can – this boosts your self confidence and makes you more positive therefore raising vibration. It is good to re-read the list of your positive aspects because you will keep activating the vibration of confidence and appreciation of yourself.

10 aspects about myself that I love

1. My intelligence
2. My writing ability
3. My creativity and appreciation for beauty
4. My ability to be still
5. My caring, loving nature
6. My impulse for kindness
7. My trustworthiness
8. My ability to take care of myself and be on my own (and stay employed!)
9. My respect for my elders/superiors
10. My dedication and professionalism

today, in an effort to feel better by helping others, i bought the following pendant from the hunger site, so i can purchase food for the hungry in the process-
http://shop.thehungersite.com/store/item.do?itemId=29207&siteId=220&sourceId=17&sourceClass=Category&index=15
i totally forgot about thehungersite.com. it was nice to find it again

i hate winter

i've been getting over a cold, so i spent most of the day inside today. i had meant to do so many things. my homework was done for class, so i thought i'd spend the time organizing my CDs, meditating or writing. i took a long nap instead. i guess i didn't sleep well last night. but i hate napping out of boredom. i've never been the person to get bored. i would always find a way to amuse myself, whether it be online, or reading or whatever. so after my nap, i went online for a while, picked out my clothes for tomorrow, watched a movie and washed my hair. sunday nights can be so depressing. and for some reason, i always seem to encounter somebody on a monday morning who's in a great mood and wants to chat, when i'm beyond pissed off about another work week. i am so confusing, even to myself. i long to be alone sometimes, but then others, i just long for company, its sometimes like once i have one of those, i crave the other. its really weird and i don't get it. maybe i just spend way too much time alone inside my head. who knows?

it's really annoying to be stuck at home in the winter. and my apartment heat goes on so high that i find myself sweating, so i open a window, then the heat goes off, so i close the window, then the heat goes back on and the cycle repeats. life seems so silly sometimes, the limits of the human body, and the lengths a person has to go through just to keep themselves comfortable, and presentable. its an endless tedious cycle of maintenance. life would be great if we could always get what we want. it's an amazing feeling when life actually goes our way isn't it?

thank God i have my bf to love and to be my best friend. i'm grateful

socially awkward or just independent?

there was a discussion today on the craigslist discussion forums (in beauty and fashion for some reason) about female friendships. people were complaining that they got tired of their female friends because of cattiness, bullying, competitiveness, bragging, etc. and i thought ok good, i'm not alone. i tried having a group of girlfriends once, and maybe they were not the right ones for me, but i couldn't seem to really connect with any of them. they were too concerned with feigning friendship and being selfish and untrustworthy. and i realized that by not having many friends in high school and college, i wasn't really missing out on much.

growing up, my parents used to say that friendships don't matter as much as family. because family will outlast every friendship every time. i think sometimes that i would like to have more friends, i find people interesting, but i also know myself. i know how moody i can get, and i get scared of hurting people when i don't mean to, just because i have days and moments when i can't bring myself to speak to anyone, and not everyone is understanding about that. you have to have really amazing friends who really understand and accept you for that to be the case. i care about people, coworkers, acquaintances, but i just don't feel the need to be in contact with them on a daily basis.

sure, sometimes i wish i had a group of cool friends (male and female), and maybe they are out there and i will run into them sometime in my life. i hope that can happen for me, as it's been something that i've never really been able to get a handle on. i've had many friends come and go in my life, as everyone has, but most people have a few close friends that have lasted them throughout the years. that's something i can't say i have unfortunately. my sister has a couple of friends that she's been close to now for like 19 years. to me, that's a major accomplishment. i remember the humiliation of finding an old friend on myspace who i thought was a really good friend to me in high school, only to find that he didn't know who i was, didn't remember me at all. I guess that’s how things go sometimes.

so, it finally happened

my parents sold their house. i can't believe it. i was so glad to hear though that the man who bought it isn't planning to tear it down. i think that would've made me cry because that is my childhood home. i think he's just planning on knocking down some walls and turning it into a one family home, instead of a two-family. i'm so glad it will still exist though, and i can't still pass by it and reminisce about being a child.

i went to visit my parents last night and my mom went into the attic looking for an album with pictures from our family trip to Europe, Paris and France, that we took as my college graduation present. i miss those pictures and wanted to see the album again. she couldn't find it, and started rummaging around in a ll the attic clutter. there was some funny stuff up there, and stuff i can't believe she was holding on to. i saw several of my old barbies, an old blue she-ra (princess of power!) lunch box filled with toys that i used to play with when i was little, and my sister's and my original baptism dresses, which had delicate white lace that was yellowing with age. she said she kept them for sentimental reasons, and to give to her granddaughters one day on their baptisms. that is if my sister and i have any baby girls.

i found 2 old paintings that belonged to my grandpa, and i took one because i liked it so much and didn't want it sold in the garage sale my mom is planning to have before they move out. its a painting of a lake, with a path beside it, with the focal point being a big tree with dark orange leaves and a very dark trunk, almost black. i loved the color of the leaves and decided to take the painting for myself. my mom also gave me some heels that were my aunts that are pretty nice, but more for a special occasion. i was happy to find that those fit me :)

with all the clutter up in my mom's attic, it's going to take a full day probably to clear it out, all the old religious paintings that belonged to my grandparents, old broken coffee table and exercise equipment, my sister's high school yearbooks, some scrapbook albums my grandpa made with pictures of colombia, all types of old clothes that my mom meant to send to charity, old purses, luggage, etc. and on and on. i can't believe it's all still there. so when they move, my parents will try to find a half way point to make it easy to get to both my apartment and my sister's house. thankfully they are not planning to be too far away. it will make me sad to not be able to go back to the place where i grew up though. major change and major shift in my psyche at the same time. it's like the period placed on the last sentence of being a child.

fashionistas

lately, i've been getting into that show, the rachel zoe project. mostly, its for the fashion. but its also for the fascination of the glamorous lifestyle that she lives. it can get annoying to watch, especially with her overuse and strange annunciation of the word 'literally' but overall, it's really entertaining. kind of like watching 'confessions of a shopaholic' without all that godawful slapstick comedy. rachel zoe really loves clothes and fashion, and is passionate about it, that you can see right away. i became entranced with her jewelry collection, which she sold on a recent episode to benefit a charity for ovarian cancer research. she had all kinds of amazing, one of a kind jewelry that was so beautiful, and she had close to 1,000 pieces all together. gold, beaded, every color, every style, bracelets, necklaces, earrings- all designer, and beautiful. i started reading more about her and it turns out she will soon be coming out with her own line of jewelry and handbags, and everything will be affordable, like under $100.

seeing that episode about her jewelry was just so nice because it was a reminder about the fun of fashion and the way you can use it to express who you are, or a mood you are in, just for the hell of it. and its fun to think of frivolous things like that sometimes, and take a break from all the big existential questions in life. at least for me, it's a nice thing to simply admire and imagine and dream about. like losing yourself in a fashion magazine for a while. tonight's episode was about her trip to paris fashion week, and seeing her attend the shows of stella mccartney, marc jabobs, luis vuitton, chanel, karl lagerfeld, all these amazing people and then the city itself. it's a total dream. i remember, i've been there.

tomorrow i start my first day of my new proofreading class, hopefully it goes well. it's been a nice time since last thursday because my boss has been on vacation and will be out all week, so i'll have plenty of free time tomorrow to read the reviews of rachel zoe's book called 'style, a to zoe' or something like that. i have to get back to reading 'the lost symbol' by dan brown, because earlier tonight i stumbled on one of those oh my god! didn't see that coming! moments in the book and i just have to keep reading.

my job would really be lovely if only i didn't have a boss...