i hate winter

i've been getting over a cold, so i spent most of the day inside today. i had meant to do so many things. my homework was done for class, so i thought i'd spend the time organizing my CDs, meditating or writing. i took a long nap instead. i guess i didn't sleep well last night. but i hate napping out of boredom. i've never been the person to get bored. i would always find a way to amuse myself, whether it be online, or reading or whatever. so after my nap, i went online for a while, picked out my clothes for tomorrow, watched a movie and washed my hair. sunday nights can be so depressing. and for some reason, i always seem to encounter somebody on a monday morning who's in a great mood and wants to chat, when i'm beyond pissed off about another work week. i am so confusing, even to myself. i long to be alone sometimes, but then others, i just long for company, its sometimes like once i have one of those, i crave the other. its really weird and i don't get it. maybe i just spend way too much time alone inside my head. who knows?

it's really annoying to be stuck at home in the winter. and my apartment heat goes on so high that i find myself sweating, so i open a window, then the heat goes off, so i close the window, then the heat goes back on and the cycle repeats. life seems so silly sometimes, the limits of the human body, and the lengths a person has to go through just to keep themselves comfortable, and presentable. its an endless tedious cycle of maintenance. life would be great if we could always get what we want. it's an amazing feeling when life actually goes our way isn't it?

thank God i have my bf to love and to be my best friend. i'm grateful