we are still innocent

i wrote the piece below on 3/13/11 while at my boyfriend's house. he was in the other room painting. i  love our creativity days. got a lot of writing exercises done, in addition to some free writing (stream of consciousness) to empty out my overactive brain.

3/13/11

maybe it's strange or it's just me, but there is a man who gives out free newspapers every day just outside the path train station in the morning. maybe it's because he stands by the world trade center site, i don't know. but there's something in the way he separates his papers to hand them out. he holds a stack of them in his left arm, and with his right hand he pushes the top newspaper so it slides off the stack before passing it out to an awaiting commuter's hand.

something in that small gesture - the way he spreads his palm to push apart the top newspaper- something about seeing that makes me feel a deep love for all humanity, and a deep connection to all humanity. i don't know what it is, i see him do it and somehow it makes me think of innocence, it makes me imagine him as a child, and makes me think of all people as gentle and needing love, and beautiful, and innocently human.

i know nothing about this man. he may be the worst most horrible person on earth for all i know, but it doesn't change the way i feel when i see him hand out his newspapers every day. and when i do, my heart feels gratitude for another day i'm alive, for another chance to do something new, something right, and maybe even something to help someone else.

song to go with this passage: