new year so far

ok, so i've been sticking to my excercise and diet plan pretty well. i'm pleasantly surprised with myself and proud of myself. i don't have to feel like a lazy, hopeless slob anymore. i tried the tracy anderson dance cardio workout, but that turned out to be difficult because it takes time to learn the choreagraphed dance routines she teaces on the dvd. i wanted to put in a cardio workout DVD and get straight to sweating and burning calories, so i bought Jillian Michaels: Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism (2008) DVD and it's great! jillian says very motivating things during the workout that encourage you to keep going and that's what i like most.

it's pretty difficult and there are a few moves i still can't do, but even skipping or modifying those moves and pushing through the rest of the DVD makes me sweat a lot and feel majorly sore. i could barely move the day after i did it the first time, but that's a good feeling, because it means my muscles are toning up, and feeling sore reminds me that i need to eat well because i am working so hard on improving how my body looks. i was really craving chocolate tonight after dinner, but i drank water and resisted the craving, and it worked. i did the workout DVD and had some apple slices with peanut butter as a snack later on.

its nice to workout and feel that i'm doing something that can result in my feeling better about myself again, and more confident. it makes me realize i'm in control, of how my body looks, how i feel, my energy level, and the food i choose to eat. i try to consciously make healthier choices no matter where i am. it's not always an easy thing, especially when i'm faced with visiting my parents and having my mother's cooking. but i persevere. i ask her to make me vegetables with chicken instead of rice. and i skip dessert, and drink only water with dinner. sometimes i slip up and have a (rare) soda or an iced tea, but i make sure to always have water with dinnner even if i end up drinking something else too. water before meals also helps me feel fuller.

for the first time in a while this weekend, i finally got the urge to write again. and i can only write when i feel good about myself and who i am, so that's a good sign. if i feel like writing again then that means that i feel like myself again.