boss from hell

it's so hard to work at the pace i have been working. bosses, i truly believe, can easily forget that the person working for them is a human being. at least the bosses i've had in my life. i've had bosses talk down to me, ask the impossible of me, and its all i can do to keep it together and not blow up. i try so hard to be pleasant, professional and enthusiastic, but when it comes down to it, we are all there for the paycheck. and i personally, don't really give a shit about the work i'm doing. sure, i do it well and take pride in a job well done, but it's not going to dictate my life or make me work more than 40 hours a week if i absolutely don't have to.

there are currently two VPs in my department. the one who is not my boss is kind, sweet, very independent, hardly asks anything of his assistant, who just started by the way a few months ago, is only 21 years old and has had basically no time with the company. she gets to leave at 3pm on fridays as long as she makes up her 40 hours a week. the other VP is my boss, the tyrant. she has her days when she's ok, nice. but i honestly dread when she's in the office. even if she's not there, she'll repeatedly call me, like she did today. i try to see her as a human being, a mom, a regular person. but when she comes at me with this attitude like i'm simple minded or dumb or should be able to read her mind, that's when i get angry. i'm not a miracle worker. i'm a human being. yes i work fast, but i have limits, and right now my workload is becoming way too much to bare.

she actually called me today to have me check her office to see if she had left her cosmetics case in there. i searched all around and found nothing, i couldn't miss it, it's a huge case, and when i let her know. she said 'oh i was sure it was in there,' and i said i looked all around and it wasn't. and we actually had to talk about this insignificant thing. was that really necessary? she has me there on the phone in silence, i have no idea what she expected me to say. i wasn't lying to her. then she called me back to have the delivery guys send her laptop to the office where she was working, so i had to remove it from the dock, and let the guys know to come get it. then she calls me back a third time and asks me to look up some numbers on a spreadsheet that i sent out to her which she could have easily checked, and tell them to her over the phone. then she called back and asked me to do the same thing from another spreadsheet.

then she called back to say that the updates she needed for a meeting were not the latest updates, when all i did was copy and paste what her managers had sent me last week as their latest update. we kept going back and forth, 'but what are all these dates' and so on. and i said 'that's what they sent, that's the latest update, that's what i sent to you. and she says 'you need to coordinate this with them' and that's not what i was told, i was told to copy and paste the new information they send me into the spreadsheet, so i DID. i was like, what the hell do you want??? and finally she tells me to put the date of the next meeting, after arguing with me about when the last meeting was and the dates should follow it, like i would check, i'm just going by the data i was SENT. UGH!! then she says she doesn't know who submitted which update, so it follows that she should ask me to separate them by name which she eventually does, but i had no way of knowing that this is what she wanted. she could have easily taken my update, communicated with her OWN team to find out who submitted what, and that would be that. but no, i have to do each and every little step.

and the workload just keeps piling on, there are so many things that she asks me to keep track of that i feel like i'm losing my mind. it's hard to keep it all straight. not to mention that i also have requests coming in from her team all the time for things they need. i feel like i'm directly assisting about 5 people. not an easy task for one person. i feel like i want to quit. its all just becoming too much and i don't know why i'm putting up with it and keeping up some fucking happy face. there are other more important things in life, like living and being healthy, than dealing with 5 emails from one person (either my actual boss or her director, or one of her 4 managers) sent from 6-9pm each night asking me for all different things, so the stress begins before i even get to work. i don't know why i always end up with these bosses from hell. but i decided to actually pray tonight for some sort of solution to this, because i don't know what else to do. a good friend once gave me a small card that says 'cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee.' so i'm going to try that, just writing out my prayers and pleading to him. i don't care about how much i earn anymore. my salary is higher than what my needs are. most of it is just sitting in the bank. there's no reason for me to have to deal with this much stress. it's not worth it at all.

i've been at my company since 2003. don't i deserve to leave early on fridays sometimes???
too bad i called in sick last tuesday, or i'd totally be staying home tomorrow and calling in sick. i'm exhausted.