sunday in central park

if i could be anywhere, i'd be in her closet

i spent most of the work day drinking dr. pepper and reading the fashion blog of my girl style crush, rumi neely of fashiontoast. don't know why i can't look like her in my clothes, though it may have to do with the fact that she's a size 0 (it appears) and is the perfect hanger for clothing. thngs get a little trickier when you have lots of curves like i do. reading her blog has made me lust after the large, black givenchy nightingale purse which is extremely out of my price range. according to barneys.com, it's upwards of $2,000 so for now it's really just a dream.

i find myself needing to buy short floral dresses that can be worn now and transitioned into fall with some opaque tights. going over my wardrobe i realize that short floral dresses of all types are what i'm missing. they are so versatile, and can be worn alone, or with short jackets or blazers, and accesorized with scarves. the possibilities are endless. i filled a bag with clothes that do not suit me anymore that i want to donate, hopefully that bag leaves my closet soon and doesn't just sit there for 6 months.

some great quotes from fashiontoast's archives entries:

'The beach on a cold cloudy day is one of my favorite things in the world'

'And thank you to a number of sweet readers that emailed me about the Bakers boots - finally, a knockoff with a decent heel! They're on their way to me now..and the Topshop leather skinnies I ordered are going to be on their way back to London cause they're too @#)$(*& big. That they're so perfectly soft and comfortable only makes the pain worse. Oh well..time to go drink sangria in my leopard print shorts.'

'I love hotels. Things like unlimited quantities of ice, shiny revolving doors, card keys, and $10 trail mix make me happy. So when my beloved Caldwell booked a room for the weekend I was ecstatic and excitedly packed way more annoying accessories than I could ever manage to wear in such a short time. But man did I try. After a mimosa toast, we frolicked irresponsibly, indulged in bacon wrapped scallops (my newest ridiculous addiction), took millions of photos for no reason, and ended up at the drugstore buying more junk food than we could ever explain purchasing. Best weekend in recent history.'
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pics of my newest acquisitions, which i love! my huge yellow scarf/shawl from the rachel zoe line on qvc and my new tannish brown booties from century21. can't wait for the weather to cool down so i can actually wear them.

currently obsessed with this song, an oldie but a goodie, a colombian cumbia from my parent's music collection:

nostalgia show

a pic of me and my bf at his last art show

today i am grateful for...

1. being in a strangely energetic, optimistic, good mood all day. i was overdue!
2. catching up on sleep and rest this weekend
3. the music on my ipod
4. having a job and living on my own
5. the fact that i will once again be an aunt, my sister is pregnant :)
6. being able to wear a dress to work today since it was warm out
7. that school isn't in session yet so the trains are not crowded
8. my boss's upcoming vacation on the week of sept. 20th
9. the black handbag that was in my drawer at work that i just rediscovered
10. fashion blogs that i can read at work (where the websites are not blocked)
11. my sony e-reader
12. the leather jacket i bought last month, probably the best thing i ever bought to wear
13. my choice to turn the TV off at 7:30pm today and download the book, "If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You by Kelly Cutrone and Meredith Bryan."

this book so far is really excellent. it's hard to stop reading it. kelly cutrone owns her own PR company called people's revolution, and she's had her own reality show (which i've never seen) and has appeared on shows like the hills (which i haven't seen either), but i really like her story. she came to NYC fresh out of college and with barely any know how and no contacts or connections, she founded her own company and followed her intuition to make her dreams a reality. kind of reminds me of madonna's story, except that kelly came to NYC with something like $2,484 and madonna only had i think $37.

kelly's writing style is very persuasive and entertaining and she asks the tough questions, like how have you been able to hear your own inner voice over that of the media, your family, society, etc.? and are those things you've been told to want, really what your soul is telling you that you want? her story about having it all and then breaking down just to rebuild herself is so inspiring. right now i'm at the chapter titled 'it's not a breakdown, it's a breakthrough' and i can't wait to read the rest and see how she prospers when everything falls apart for her.

i hope this good mood i'm in lasts the rest of the week!

inspiring quote of the day from this site-http://www.deeshan.com/ (the Meditation Tip of the Day)

You are really rich when you accept yourself as you are, when you are contented with what you have

a free evening, plus more cruise pics

its' so funny how walking back to my apartment from the train at night is so peaceful and relaxing and happy because i know the whole evening is ahead and i won't have to deal with taking orders from my boss for a couple of hours. i can just be home and have a quiet, relaxing meal and read whatever i want online and watch any show that i'm interested in, like tonight i am looking forward to the new episode of the rachel zoe project. but i'm practicing turning the tv off when whatever show i'm watching is over, otherwise it just is too easy to get sucked in. i didn't watch any tv last night after i saw my netflix rental (igby goes down), and therefore had the time for a meditation. it was much more peaceful than watching nothing in particular on tv. i decided not to watch the new seasons of project runway or america's next top model, because watching those shows adds nothing to my life or my personal development.

when i'm walking home to my apartment the world seems lovely, everyone seems to be friendlier and smiling and anything in the world is possible. i get a glimpse of another life i could have if work was not a necessity. if i could figure out how to do the one thing i'm meant to be doing, things would be a lot easier. i will keep on meditating on that question, and see what comes up in my subconscious.

couple more pics from the cruise-

life is not a race

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/business/22stream.html?_r=2&ref=health

this link was on the main intranet page of my company and i read it today at work.

very interesting what they say about stress in the American workplace leading to obesity and the end part about Britain making cooking classes mandatory for young teens (to discourage eating
pre-packaged /unhealthy/fast foods). Finally it seems that some people are waking up to these facts! America is the worst for overworking people out of most other countries it seems (especially Europe). And all this stress also leads to prescription medication over use, which also leads to weight gain.. it’s a vicious cycle. and it's pretty sad.

i can't believe how fast fall is coming on, i guess there's no hope for an indian summer.
it was hard to get up and go to work today, but i'm grateful that i have a job.

thanks go to my bf for introducing me to this band. music is the cure all.

go everywhere you've never been

your mind's landscape

some weird wave of manic energy took over me during lunch today while i was out browsing at a jewelry store. i chatted up the sales guy when he commented about my work picture ID that i had hooked onto my shirt. then i realized i didn't have enough cash for my items, so i asked the salesgirl to hold them for me while i ran to the bank for cash, and ran back to the jewelry store for my items. i bought this pretty orange and yellow round pendant (i love it because you can adjust the necklace length by clasping it in different places). click on the pic to see better detail.

and a pair of rose goldish hoop earrings. they are obviously fake costume jewels, but still pretty, and only $2.99 each. the other side of the pendant is an angel carving which i don't have the patience to photograph right now. so it can be worn both ways.

the hoops are that in between size so they are not too big or small. i love them! next friday night my sister is hosting a party for liasophia jewelry which i cannot wait for. they have a website which has really fueled my anticipation for that party- liasophia.com. too bad all the cocktail rings are probably too big to fit me, I’ll probably end up getting a necklace or earrings.

i think i got that surge of manic energy because i spent so much time this week either at home or waiting at a doctor's office. i was so tired and weak on tuesday that I slept all day, I thought i had the flu. but all i had was a regular cold and slight fever. i also had an ear irrigation done which was strange because i was having strong pains by my left ear and jaw so that seems to have taken care of that. all this caused me to miss 3 days of work. so i only worked monday and friday of this week. i felt totally useless and lazy, though in a way i got the vacation from my cruise vacation that i was hoping for. it's a good thing i still had plenty of paid time off accrued to cover all those days. I was still angry though because I like to save my days off for the winter time when the weather sucks and staying in bed is way more appealing than going to work.

It’s so weird that when i actually have spending money, i get more picky about the stuff i buy and am more reluctant to shop. my first instinct is always to hold on to extra money in case i need it later, but i'm trying to get better about giving myself the things that i want. who's to say i will need my savings in case i lose my job, or get a lower paying job? i am careful not to go overboard though and always save more than i spend. but buying one or two nice things for myself every now and then isn't a crime or anything. with every potential purchase i start thinking, is it frivolous? do i already have this type of thing or article of clothing? do i need to add to my clutter? what will i get rid of or donate in order to make room for this thing? yesterday i bought a pair of really cheap blue flats and immediately got rid of 3 articles of clothing (that I never wear) from my closet. have to try to keep a balance..

song of the day. it sounds almost cheerful on a lovely sunny day:

on the deck

this pic was taken shortly after we all arrived onboard the cruise. thought i'd post it since it's rare that i like how i look in pictures. love my white dress with studs, even though it set off all the metal detectors in the airport. that's my sis on the left

pic from my cruise

one of my favorites out of the trip, me and my cousin victor outside the dining room we went to for dinner each night on the boat- the carnival liberty..

back from vacation

just got back from a 7 day cruise with my entire family, and some family friends, 31 people in all. there were cousins, aunts, uncles, parents, sisters, brothers, etc etc. it was fun but also pretty exhausting, and i'm so glad now to be back in the privacy of my apartment. i spent most of today recovering and sleeping and now i finally feel awake. here is my favorite song today, pretty haunting and sad but still so beautiful. it's by the arcade fire.

a salty weekend

this weekend was pretty nice, i must say. i have been waiting all summer for salt to finally come out, and it sure was worth the wait! angelina jolie can basically play an action hero in her sleep. and it was the perfect summer popcorn movie flick. that is, if i actually ever ate popcorn at the movies. i had a salad for dinner at a lovely restaurant with my bf before the show, while jealously watching him eat a delicious-looking pasta meal. the heat was so oppressive we thought we might pass out, but it's summer so i got to wear a cute black and white dress i got a while ago from forever21.com and completely forgot i had. well, i forgot it was a dress and for some reason thought of it more as a top, so i never wore it until last night. with some cute white heels :) and my cute black and white rollerball necklace from the 'grace' jewelry line by molly sims.

we got to the movie almost an hour early to get good seats since it was opening weekend. why are people like angeline jolie so fascinating? she is beautiful but so are a lot of other actresses. maybe it is a combination of her beauty and acting talent, and the fact that she never pretends to be anything except for who she is. and people who lead that way tend to have a lot of admirers and imitators. my bf tells me that i look like her, and i can only feel complemented to be compared to this person who is widely considered to be the most beautiful woman on earth. i don't really see the resemblance. the movie was nonstop action, lots of fight and chase scenes but all so well done. i was even entertained by the fight choreography, and the stunts were also amazing. the storyline never dragged, it kept you engaged the whole time. i would definitely go see it again and this may be one of the few movies i choose to own when it comes out on DVD. there is something so captivating about angelina, how she can pull off complicated characters, all while looking drop dead gorgeous in this effortless, stylish way. you just wish that you could be her.

today i had the heavenly pleasure of getting two massages (birthday gift card from my sweet bf.) one of these was a scalp massage, which i had never had before today. it was amazing! i always loved having my hair shampooed at hair salons simply because it feels so relaxing, so i was really looking forward to this massage. the lady who did it used this lavender oil that was so relaxing, and started massaging between my eyes and up towards my forehead using her thumbs and it was just so nice. i felt totally spoiled, totally relaxed and so happy. after that, me and my bf had some lunch and suddenly it started pouring rain. i didn't remember to bring an umbrella, and he wanted to run through it to get back to his car, so he dragged me by my hand out in the storm and we proceeded to get completely drenched. but you know, those are the little moments you remember and recall fondly when you think about being young.

back in the car i nearly froze to death and made him turn down the air conditioning. after some grocery shopping he dropped me off and i started to read and promptly took a long nap in my air conditioned room. now i'm here online, catching up on the archives of fashiontoast.com. life can be so sweet.

cause I am not a material girl

i remember once watching a tv movie about madonna's life (Madonna: Innocence Lost (1994) in which an actress played madonna in the role and it was sort of a biographical story of her struggles trying to become famous in new york. i remember being intrigued and fascinated by her minimal apartment with just a fridge and kitchen table. and there is a scene where she is standing at a phone booth and her suitcase gets stolen. the robbers run off with it and it opens up, spilling it's contents onto the sidewalk. She chases after them yelling ‘hey, they have my stuff!’

I was marvelled again. all she had in the suitcase which she sat on the floor to collect was a rosary, a picture of her mother, a couple of dresses, a blanket and some dance leotards. i thought, how simple it must be able to to carry everything you own with you in a suitcase and travel from place to place with ease. to not be attached to any other physical things. unfortunately, i'm sentimental about a lot of things. i have kept every journal i've ever owned, except some assigned in high school which i miraculously let go of after reading 'clutter busting' by brooks palmer. i also own clothes that i'm sentimental about, like a blouse and heart necklace (that's turning black) that i wore on my first date with my bf, and the part of the first gift he ever gave me, 2 beaded bracelets which are now falling apart.

i have even felt sentimental about books i have kept! i had one for many years called 'gonna bake me a rainbow poem' that i bought in like the 5th grade just because it was the first book to introduce me to poetry and caused me to fall in love with it. Don’t know how I was able to let that go. I also still have my e.e.cummings big poetry anthology that i was obsessed with in high school, even though I have hardly looked at it in years.

today was a nice, slow friday, except for the rain which was annoying me as i ran out to new york and company during my lunch to buy a black, faux-leather motorcycle jacket (yeah, in the middle of summer, i don't get it either). but i love it! i saw a similar jacket in a magazine (worn by jessica alba) and just fell in love. you can wear it with so many things, so i justified the purchase as an investment. i will definitely be wearing it to death. here's a pic from ny & co.'s website

birthday thoughts/musings

below is a pic of me on my birthday, i took a few but only liked how i look in this one. for some reason, my birthday didn't feel that real to me this year, maybe because i'm refusing to acknowledge it the same way i would before. i used to really think about it, but now not so much. i try not to. in my mind i'm still 30, actually, more like 24. i know i had a cake and blew out a candle and opened gifts, but it still just felt like some ordinary day. still, i get the sense of time passing, so now that i can actually afford it, i'm going to spend more time and effort on my look every day and the clothes/shoes/jewelry i choose to wear. it's now or never, you know?

for my birthday i got yet more jewelry (2 necklaces) and a set of 3 handbags/totes, a beautiful white and gold longish short dress from my aunt, a blue and silver glittery scarf (which i love and can't wait to wear!!), and a big, caramel colored handbag from the rachel zoe line, which i'm going to use as my carry on/purse for my upcoming flights. it's roomy enough to fit everything that i will need. i am so obsessed with it and am currently using it as my everyday work bag. it's not the easiest thing to carry in a sea of New York City commuters though, people are constantly knocking into it.

unfortunately this video doesn't show the bag i have, but it shows some other nice pieces from rachel zoe's QVC line. my bag can be seen here: http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/view.2/app.detail/params.item.A200864.desc.Rachel-Zoe-Large-Flap-Front-Satchel

i think i'm obsessed with rachel because she looks at fashion as something fun to play around with and not be taken seriously. and she knows that glamour is fun and is a form of self expression. why not celebrate the fact that you are alive and adorn yourself a little? or a lot?

my partial jewelry collection

life with no internet

for the past week, since my birthday, i have had a virus on my computer which prevented me from opening my internet browser. what a pain that was! i didn't realize how much i depended on the internet in my home on a daily basis, to look up random things, check the weather, email my mother, look for music and movies, read inspirational fashion blogs, and write here of course. it was really tough! i guess i am more addicted to being online than i previously thought. so i spent a whole lot of time reading a book, yet another book about clutter, but i don't want to write too much about it since i haven't really gotten too far into it yet.



i watched the movie 'chloe' last night which was pretty good mostly because the main actors in it were all beautiful and easy to look at. the story was purposel mysterious in not revealing the history of the main character, the prostitute played by amanda seyfried. it sure was a far cry from her roles in mean girls and mamma mia. she was not ditzy at all in 'chloe' and you always believe julianne moore instantly no matter what role she plays. i saw her in a movie called 'the forgotten' which was such an amazing role. you really believed she was a mother suffering for her lost son. here she is suffering in her marriage which has lost it's spark. and you believe it every time she cries here too.

the story is complex and some characters, like the husband, are a bit underdeveloped. but that's probably the point, since the focus of the movie is on chloe and her manipulations and motives. i can't understand how an actress would want to do a film like this that is so exposed and vulnerable for the world to see, but i guess money talks when you're trying to make a name for yourself in hollywood. just look at all the crappy movies nicole kidman has been in, while she has also been in some great ones. there is something about julianne moore's and amanda seyfried's characters that feels real, so you get hooked into their stories right away.

every day that goes by brings me one day closer to my family cruise, and 7 days of being away from my bf. which makes me sad. it's almost like i can't wait to get it over with and get back to my life where i feel special, loved and secure. i hate to fly and it makes me nervous, but if anything happens i figure at least i will be with my family, who makes me feel safe as well. i'm not packing nearly as much as i would normally though, since there is no one out there for me to impress and i'm just going for a restful vacation. no need to weigh my luggage down with tons of jewelry, make up and dress/outfit changes. i will defintiely be travelling light. and the flights back and forth will be short too, so there will be no need to bring tons of onboard entertainment and reading materials. i will probably just bring a book or magazine and my ipod.

life's too short for a bad outfit

i've been reading a lot of fashion books, blogs and magazines lately and thinking about my own personal style. i definitely gravitate towards certain things over and over and sometimes feel like i need to be jolted out of my rut. i can't count the amount of green dresses and tops i have, and yellow is another favorite color too. i have a cousin my age who's closet is filled with nothing but red, so i guess to each their own.

the thing is, when i do where a weird color for me, like blue, red, orange, pink or purple, people always compliment me on looking good in those colors. i don't really dress for what looks good on my skin type. I’m not to big on wearing prints either, except for florals. i only own one pink item in my entire wardrobe, and i got it for free, i didn't buy it. i went through a purple faze for a while. but today i bought yet another patterned green dress. i don't know why i couldn't go for the same dress in another color. i also like all black or all white, but not really black and white mixed together. i don't think it really works with my skin tone. i get bored and washed out when i wear grey or tan colored clothing, feeling like i blend in too much with everyone else.

I love feminine pieces. i love flowing, bohemian style dresses, billowy blouses and lacy details. i love wearing skirts and dresses (long and short) way more than wearing pants. i'm not big on designers or labels. I like making more affordable pieces my own. it's not about the clothes to me, it's how you wear them. Debbie Harry took a pillowcase out of a dumpster and made an iconic dress out of it. Shirley Manson bought a cheap $15 dress from a teen store for her ‘stupid girl’ video and everyone begged her to know who designed it. this is what i'm talking about. It’s supposed to look like effortless chic, not like you are trying to hard. In that spirit, the dress I bought to wear on my birthday is short, yellow and brown color blocked (sort of) and cost me $9.99

the only designer who has gotten my attention has been nanette lepour, and i like the clothing line, ‘free people.’ i tend to find myself at small no-name boutiques around the streets where i work, and i take a lot of inspiration from the girls i just see walking in the streets of new york. they often put things together in a way i would've never thought of on my own. and then when i copy their look i seem original :)

i hate it when things get lost in my closet and i forget i have them. i'm trying to be more conscious of shopping for things that i actually need, not just more of the same. like maybe try to stay away from buying more dresses and try other things like belts? or shawls? or shorts? i wish i could win one of those lucky magazine shopping sprees i keep entering. i always feel like, except for a few favorite key pieces, my wardrobe always needs a major overhaul.

sending you forget me nots..

its' kind of funny that george michael is back in the news with another arrest for something, when i happened to rediscover this old song of his that i always loved because it's such a cool summer song and fun to dance to. i was searching for some new songs to download and found it that way- it reminds me of my carefree younger days




it was this song, along with lady gaga which i'm only now discovering how catchy her music is (it takes me a while to hear and get into trendy music sometimes). i was in the mood to listen to feel good music since my boss is on vacation this week, and even though the temperature is hovering at 102 degrees in NYC right now, i'm still finding myself happy somehow. it was so much fun listening to bad romance, just dance, alejandro and telephone during my train ride this morning, making the comute seem almost cheerful. i am needing another air conditioner desperately. or at least a fan at my desk at home so i can go online without feeling like i'm suffocating. right now the only ac i have is in my bedroom so i can actually sleep when the weather is like this.

i was reading my monthly horoscope and supposedly around my birthday this year, i will be getting a great work opportunity, and a unique opportunity to see my life become significantly different than how it is now. it'll even be a good time for me to overhaul my look or change my name due to the eclipse taking place in cancer on july 11, and those with their birthdays closest to that date will be affected most. my birthday is the 10th, so i can't wait to see waht happens. i long for a new beginning in my job, and to somehow make friends who share my interests and who i feel i can trust, that's a big issue for me for some reason. i always think people have ulterior motives and it's hard for me to really open up. but i feel ready for a new challenge. my birthday is this saturday, and at 31, i think i'll be long overdo.

another sexy summer tune..

pic of me writing at the park today

it was so hot, i thought i might melt

Fashion dreams

since work slows down considerably in the summertime (yay!) and my boss is going on vacation next week (yay again!) i spend most of my workday looking at fashion blogs. this habit unfortunately makes me want to shop more, but fortunately it inspires me to express myself more through my clothing choices. and it reminds me that it's ok and even fun to go over the top with fashion sometimes.

today i found this great blog that i will definitely be reading daily from now on-fashiontoast.com. i was working through the archives when suddenly the pictures failed to load at work, so i will have to continue studying it at home. there is so much about it that i love: the random photography (some from japan which is my dream destination), the everyday normal world feel, the poetic entries and blog titles, and the one of a kind thrift store (and ebay) fashion finds that happen to look brand new and fabulous on the author/model. below are some excerpts, but you should really check the pics that go with the blog itself to get the full effect. the pic above this post is unrelated to these entries, it's just another pic that i liked and found interesting.

4/5/2010

this time

Hopping around a field and high on nature, baring shoulders at 46 degrees, watching the crows fly ahead more slowly and quietly than in a dream, letting the wind feed me my hair, running and talking faster and faster to keep warm, falling and not caring, forgetting about almost everything. Ten minutes on a Sunday.

2/27/2010

on track

"I get a lot of questions in regards to the "braveness" to dress any way you want to in the public eye..be it the grocery store, school, party, etc...and where I get the confidence to wear this or that. Which is strange to me because I'm really not that out there in my mind...but it's touching in the most real way to read emails from girls that thought they were too tall to wear platform heels/afraid what their peers would think if they were to dress the way they wanted to/want to add some glamour back into their lives saying that I've inspired them to break out of the box in any way. My outlook has always been that people in the streets aren't dressing to please me, why should I take them into account when dressing myself? Playing with clothes is one of the most basic pleasures in life along with other stupid crap like peeling nail polish off in single sheets, crawling into a sun warmed car, and laughing about nothing and everything. If I were to die tomorrow I would be glad that I wore a slightly inappropriate coat and five inch heels to a deserted train station in the middle of the day. You know what I mean? "