its amazing how fidgety you get as an adult when you find yourself back in a classroom situation. i found myself wanting to get up to go to the bathroom every five minutes, and shifting in the uncomfortable, tiny child desks we were given to sit in. it's really hard to sit still for an all day class. i remember getting that same feeling when i first tried meditating. it took so much will power to make my body resist the urge to move itself.
life seems to be like one long to do list. thank goodness i have a day off coming up soon. this week was way too busy for me. i just do stuff and cross it off, and life seems to pass by in one big blur. i thought buying a day planner was a good idea, but maybe it wasn't. i just seem to jot down more and more things that i need to do.
i need to get back to the basic stuff, slow down and try to notice things in life again. i used to love to observe the world, not run through my day with barely any breath left by the end of it. it's not healthy, it's not human. i need to read poetry, eat slowly, spend time in nature (when it's not freezing) and listen to music more often. i've been so rushed this week that i haven't even felt compelled to do that, and music usually helps to soothe my soul and relax me.
i was trying to remember the feeling of meditating as i was trying to fall asleep last night, but it didn't quite relax me like i hoped. i knew i had a long day ahead today and the thought made it impossible to relax. i went to my first copy editing class last night. copy editing seems really really involved, but it was valuable to learn about the different structures of publishing houses (there are 2 main structures) and the jobs of the people at different levels and departments within the structures. that's the kind of basic understanding of this field that i really need to get better acquainted with to see where and if i fit somewhere within it.
true blue baby
14 years ago
