run baby run

there is a woman in my office who comes in occasionally, (she doesn't have to come in to the office daily) who is very pale and has bright red hair. i mean like fire engine red hair that you can spot from a mile away. usually she ties it back for work so she still looks professional. i overheard her say that she is a vegetarian, and today i heard her tell someone that she doesn't watch television. to which her coworker replied 'well, you have a lot of catching up to do!' the other day i passed her in the hallway and she was wearing this lovely vintage-looking blue skirt, i think it was floral and to the knee. and she wore a black pashmina wrapped around herself on top. she smiled at me as we passed each other.

i remember attending a sales rally (work event) where some representatives saw her and started to make fun of her because of her hair color and the large hat that she wore to shield her skin from the sun. they were wondering who she was. i admire her because she's not afraid to be who she is, to be an individual even in this dull, corporate culture setting. she is ok with not blending in or looking like everyone else and that's what i really like. it's more impressive to be a strong personality rather than someone who blends in with a crowd, at least in my opinion. people may not understand you, but it doesn't matter as long as you know who you are and are in touch with that.

i want to be someone who steps out of the box and isn't afraid to do her own thing. unfortunately, i have succumbed to conformity, even though i know that who i am inside is not some boring woman with no mind of her own who simply exists to do her work diligently every day and make her boss happy. there is a whole lot more to me.

it's sad that most people become like this in order to function well in society, all the while suffocating their spirits and forgetting or ignoring what makes them truly human- all the things that you need to check at the door once you start working- your emotions, passions, creativity (if are not in a creative field), your need for rest, your need for physical activity, your need for mental stimulation and variety. it's a sad thing and it's why i miss the school structure sometimes.

living at home with my parents had its downsides, like limited freedoms and having to check in with them as i came and went, but it was also very pleasant at times too. having my dinner made for me and my clothes laundered, and not having to go to a supermarket, leaving me free to write or read or do whatever i wanted. maybe that's why i have trouble balancing these things now with the fun things i want to do. it sure was nice though, doing things like browsing leisurely through a store catalogue during my christmas break, basking in the warmth and comfort of living under my parent's roof. not a care in the world.

song of the day