workweek woe

lately i've been really dreading mondays, much more than a regular person, and longing for fridays to come. the weeks just feel so long because i've had a lot of stress and extra work recently and have been hating my boss a little more each day. i really try not to go into work with a negative attitude, but honestly it's hard to really care about making a good impression sometimes. i don't really have anything tying me to this job and it wouldn't be a major tragedy or anything if i were to lose it. they really like me and the way i work mostly, but sometimes i wonder if i'm expected to be perfect all the time. i can't be, i'm human.

my boss got on my case for forgetting to remind her about two conference meetings she needed to have, on a day when i was working on another project for her with a more urgent deadline and i was also sick. she seems to think i can do 5 things all at once, and do them all well. i'm sorry but i just can't. rather than get myself super stressed and anxious, i consciously tell myself to slow and relax and let some things go and just do my best. that's the only way i can work. and if some of the work must be put off then so be it. this job isn't my life and my boss doesn't seem to get that. i actually bought a lottery ticket today for the first time in so long! that's usually the first sign that i'm tired of my job and need a change. i won $5 so maybe i'll go buy two more tickets with that tomorrow.

she went home early today due to feeling sick and when she left i had the most immediately great feeling of relief, like i could finally work in peace on all the emails she sent me last night with things that she needed done without constant interruptions and phone calls from her. monday mornings are hard enough without added stress. i really want a slower paced job, i'm not the workaholic type. work is just not that important to me. i'm looking forward to when i can look for work in publishing. luckily, this job with this nightmare boss has at least given me more confidence with which to deal with other types of people. that should make me a bit less afraid of a big change in my daily life. i'm just not looking forward to training someone to take my place. the job is way too complicated to actually teach to someone else.

i can't wait for the springtime to come. i'm so tired of my big winter coat. thankfully next week is march already. i can't stand working in new york city and having it be too cold to really go anywhere after work. it's such a waste! i've lived in the area of NYC all my life and there is still so much of it that i haven't seen or explored. i'm starting to get cabin fever!