it's friday again, thank God

i'm still trying to throw out 50 things. it's been really slow going. so far this is all i have to add to my list:

16. green dress that never fit (too big)
17. black dress that never fit (too tight)
18. brown wooden heart earrings ($1 impulse buy)
19. piece of broken smoke detector i found in my closet
20. old catalogues
21. book, 'writing without the muse'

i got some new clothes from alloy.com that were shipped extremely fast so they arrived today :) so i felt better about getting rid of some older stuff. still wish i could let go of more though so that my closet can breathe. i honestly forget sometimes the clothes that i own, and then certain pieces never get worn. i'm so happy tomorrow is friday. this whole week has been so busy and i feel really tired. i think the hardest part about clearing clutter (besides clothes) is clearing my inbox of old emails. i have books filled with writing exercises, and yet i feel a need to collect even more writing exercises in a folder that i named 'journal jar' in my email inbox. and then i have another folder of inspirational quotes which i never read. and then i have older emails from friends of the past who i wish would return to my life. i tried reaching out to an old friend recently who i used to hang out with a lot but he never replied after his first reply. thought that's probably also because he was busy preparing to leave to japan for his first photography exhibition. i am so jealous. i would love to go to japan someday.

i'm still trying to lose about 5 lbs and it's getting irritating that the scale will not move. i'm 125 now and want to go down to 120. i don't feel comfortable at this weight, even if i look ok. i don't like my pants and dresses fitting tightly, and feeling like my stomach is hanging out. it's hard to eat healthy, but i am trying. i'm forcing myself. i'm drinking more water, eating more fruit, not eating too late at night, trying to keep my meals small. it's not easy. if i have vegetables and meat for dinner lets say, i get so hungry at night before bed. maybe it would help to try to get to bed earlier.

my neighbors in my apartment complex have been extremely loud tonight. it's been nothing but loud banging noises and loud talking outside, and kids running around and screaming and all this, and i'm like what the hell? when did this place turn into the circus? i really wanted to write poetry today, to post something more interesting here, but i just didn't have any inspiration. i couldn't get into that frame of mind at all. so happy that i have 2 long weekends coming up, maybe somehow i can get back to my creativity. it also doesn't help that the photographer behind joesnyc.com (nyc photo blog) has gone on a bunch of vacations and stopped posting pictures for long stretches of time. i really like going to his site each day to see the new photo, and it always makes me happy and sometimes even inspires writing. right now i think his site says that new photos will be returning september 4th. oh well

last weekend i went to see 'district 9' due to my bf's prompting. and i actually really enjoyed it more than i was expecting to. sure was different! i'm so glad project runway is back on the air with a new season. and now they have a spin off show called 'models of the runway' about the models who appear regularly on project runway. finally something to watch on tv! i think i'd rather die than watch courtney and chloe take miami.