drowning in the wishing well

i don't know why i gravitate towards these weird films that no one has heard of or seen. the latest movie i rented was 'finding forrester,' which is oddly facinating and satisfying to watch. i find it so amazing that the lead actor, rob brown, had no acting experience before this movie. he is so smooth and natural that you would never believe he was anyone other than this teenager he plays in the movie, jamal wallace. and to act opposite sean connery who is so out there and abrasive, i don't know how he did it.

it's a really interesting story about how this young boy and his curiosity and hunger for knowledge lead him to the apartment of an old, reclusive writer who has written the great american novel. the author, william forrester, becomes the boy's mentor and teacher, and gives him life lessons and writing rules. in the process, forrester comes out of seclusion. jamal inspires him to re-enter the world. the way that these two characters bond is something so delightfully done and with lots of wit, that it's enormously entertaining. to watch these two men who differ in every possible way have a meeting of the minds over their commom creative talents is really compelling.

there's an interview in the making of special on the DVD where someone (i forgot who) sums up a lesson of the movie which, i'm paraphrasing here, is: you can be afraid of change, you can be afraid of people who are different from you, but if you let them in, you will be rewarded and they will end up giving you new life. that's a perfect summation of this film. that's why i love it so much. it's unconventional and yet has a real feeling to it. everything in the movie does. it's so inspiring. the openness of these characters to new experiences, the branching out into unfamiliar territory, and the willingness to share who they are with the other. i can't say enough about it.

i think it was done by the same director who directed 'to die for,' one of my favorite films ever. something about nicole kidman's character in that movie is endlessly engrossing to me. her drive, her determination, her evil nature, her ice maiden-ness, is all so perfect. she totally becomes this ruthless, heartless bitch who always gets her way and it's done to perfection. i must have seen that movie 30 times or something. it was also so well-made, in documentary style on purpose, to follow the themes of the movie and of kidman's character, suzanne stone. the way she uses her powers to seduce and corrupt is something that i never get tired of watching. that's one movie anyone who's reading this HAS to rent. it's hilarious and powerful and full of reality too. i saw it when i was in high school i think, and watched it over and over. i couldn't get past nicole kidman's perfectly sleazy portrayal.

so yeah, this is my weekend for relaxing, as opposed to last weekend which was all craziness. my boss is starting to give me these extra assignments and analysis to do here and there. i hope they won't be pushing to move me up again. i can't take the stress. i wasn't cut out for this kind of work. i'm hoping it will just go away. as soon as i get comfortable they have to start in on me and then it gets hard to get up and go to work. i really don't want that to happen because i don't think i can be pushed much further. unless they really don't mind me constantly asking for help, hopefully they will back off and things will resume to how they were before. although last summer was when i got my last promotion, so i wonder if that's the timeline they are following. god knows i can't teach the girl assisting me to do my job so she can move up too, that would be so unpleasant and difficult, then again, maybe i could finally take a 2 week vacation someday.

i am loving the 'superbeautifulmonster' bif naked CD. she does this cover of 'nothing else matters' by metallica that's absolutely surreal and lovely. i don't know why she's not more well known. her voice is so moving. she sings with everything she's got. 'drowning in the wishing well' is a line from the last song on the CD, called 'after a while.'