seriously?

The other day I was in the ladies room at work walking up to the sink. There was a girl there, a temp I think, who said to me ‘you always look so serious.’ And I thought, ok, so what do I say to that? I had absolutely no response. So I just smiled a little. I mean really, did she expect me to apologize? To tell her what personal things I’m going through right now? to tell her that my heart is longing and hurting and holding on to someone who can’t be with me right now? was I supposed to explain or justify myself? I stayed silent, so she said ‘that can be good sometimes’ I guess because she was baffled by my silence. I still didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled and thought about the ridiculousness of it all. I don’t get why people need to voice their thoughts when they are critical of others, or simply observant.

I wouldn’t go around telling people, you look mean all the time, or you should try to smile more and be friendlier, because I have no idea what’s going on in that person’s life, and it’s not my place to say anything to them about their demeanor. Everyone is different and handles things differently, some with silence, some with emotions like anger, some by being sullen and withdrawn. I just happen to wear my heart on my sleeve, and it’s hard for me to hide the way I feel. I don’t think it’s healthy to hide the way you feel anyway. you can’t give a smile to the world while your heart is aching. At least I can’t.