hello again

ok so i have not written on here in a very long time. and I'm sure no one out there will be reading this blog. except maybe for a selet few who i let know about it. anyway, i took a much needed day off today. and it has been relaxing. thank goodness. i probably need to furnish my walls a bit, since they are still all bare since i moved in here in september. i had to take a day of to regroup. to remember what's important to me. and what can wait. a stressful job can wait. a stressful job will always be there. and now i'm consumed with the idea of cutting down my commute. it would be great if i could leave my comfortable apartment and be at work in 5 minutes or 10, instead of in a huge commuting crowd and two different trains and long walks to and from my building.

i needed to remember what it is to be human. and not a machine. a coworker tells me that people wonder sometimes if i'm actually human, because of the efficiency with which i do my work. i have to keep in mind the important things. and breaking my back won't ensure i'll always have a job. it's so important to keep my mind on the positive things. the things in life that make me joyful, so i don't feel that getting through the days is tedious and hard work all the time. it doesn't have to be that way. some people understand this. they do as little work as possible because they know that it takes a lot to have reason to fire an employee. they don't feel they have anything to prove. they just take their time with their tasks. it's so important though to have a balance, between who i am personally and who i am at work. they don't have to be one in the same person. and that's what taking a day off reminds me of. and i'm grateful for that. i'm grateful that i recognized the signs of burnout and gave myself a break. and i'm glad for people in my life who remind me of who i am, what helps me and what i love to do and what makes me happy.